Woman is excitedly engaged until her fiance's mother becomes over-involved in the wedding planning process, ends marriage over it: '[She] even suggested I wear her wedding dress'

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Jan 27, 2025 1:00 PM EST

Meeting your partner's parents is always a huge milestone in a relationship. They can try all they might to help you prepare and to make you feel comfortable, but you'll never know how you feel until you're in the lion's den. The way someone's family interacts with you can be a relationship deal breaker, and if you date men, you run the risk of the ever-feared, always horrible Boy Mom. Boy moms are often portrayed in media as overly doting and almost inappropriately affectionate with their sons. Remember Charlotte's constant battle with Trey's mother in SATC? Yeesh. Horrifying. 

With a Boy Mom, it's hard to discern who's more at fault: the Mom for refusing to let her son grow up or the boy for reverting back to being a man-child around his mother. It's sort of a Catch-22 situation, and it takes both a special mother and son to complete the cycle. One woman experienced a horrible case of Boy Mom and went to Reddit for advice. This Boy Mom, in particular, started low and slow with her horrors but gradually grew to be a complete menace as time went on. Would this be grounds enough for you to end your marriage? Read on, read on.


 

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    via Thomas AE
  • 02

    "AITA for Breaking Up with My Fiancé Because He Refused to Set Boundaries with His Mom?"

    So, I (28F) was engaged to "Mike" (30M) for about two years, together for four. We had a great relationship-at least I thought we did-until it became clear that his mom ("Mary") had a... unique attachment to her son.
    via HallieBreeze
  • 03
    It started small. She would call him multiple times a day to "check in," which I didn't mind at first. But then, she started showing up unannounced at our place, criticizing how I kept the house, and even tried to rearrange furniture because "Mike liked it better this way."
    via HallieBreeze
  • 04
    I put up with it because Mike assured me he'd talk to her. Spoiler: he never did.
    via HallieBreeze
  • 05
    Things escalated when Mary insisted on planning our entire wedding. She wanted her friends on the guest list, her catering preferences, and even suggested I wear her wedding dress (which was dated, to put it kindly). When I tried to assert my opinions, she'd say things like, "Oh, honey, this is just how it's done in our family." Mike just shrugged it off, saying, "That's how she is."
    via HallieBreeze
  • 06
    The breaking point came when Mary told me I should "delay having kids" because "no one will ever love Mike as much as I do." I confronted Mike, but he said I was "overreacting."
    via HallieBreeze
  • 07
    I told him we needed serious boundaries or I couldn't do this anymore. His response? "If you can't handle my mom, how are you supposed to handle being part of the family?"
    via HallieBreeze
  • 08
    So, I broke up with him. Mary called me "selfish," his sister said I was "ripping the family apart," and even Mike's friends are saying I should've compromised. But my friends are 100% on my side.
    via HallieBreeze
  • 09
    AITA for not trying harder? Or was this doomed from the start?
    via HallieBreeze
  • 10

    Here's what the commenters said about Boy Moms...

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    via Taylor Deas-Melesh
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    Girl, you dodged a lifetime of being the third wheel in your own marriage. If he can't set boundaries now, imagine trying to argue with Mary over baby names or holiday plans. You're not the villain for wanting a husband, not a mama's boy. Let him and Mary live their happily-ever-after; you deserve better.
    via HallieBreeze
  • 12

    Respect!

    NTA at all. That was never a relationship with just Mike, it was you vs. him and his mom. If he couldn't set boundaries now, imagine dealing with that forever? You chose peace, not drama. Respect.
    via HallieBreeze
  • 13
    you did what you had to do. His mom was crossing all kinds of lines, and he didn't even try to set boundaries. You can't build a life with someone who won't have your back like that. You're better off.
    via HallieBreeze
  • 14
    you did the right thing. His mom was doing way too much, and he didn't even have your back. If he can't set boundaries now, it's never gonna get better. You deserve someone who's got your back, 100%.
    via HallieBreeze
  • 15

    Words of affirmation must be this commenter's love language

    YOU darling, dodged a nuclear bomb. If he bothers you, tell him to go marry his mother because only she CAN love him as much as she does. YOU on the other hand sweetheart, deserve better. Someone who is not in an incestual relationship with his mother.
    via HallieBreeze
  • 16
    i'm sorry she said you guys should delay having kids because no one would love him as much as she does? Actually she's right about that because how could you love a man who lets his mother police his relationship? She might've done this in his previous relationships (if he's had any).
    via HallieBreeze
  • 17
    Reading this felt like I was reliving my history... had an extremely similar experience, if not the exact same experience. I broke it off with my fiance 3 years ago and it's the one decision I've made in my life that I don't second guess and emphatically look back on as the best decision I ever made.
    via HallieBreeze
  • 18
    You are absolutely NTA and what's more, is you should be very proud of yourself for making such a tough decision... most people would stay and be miserable, sadly.
    via HallieBreeze

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family drama aita marriage reddit story divorce mother in law Reddit toxic relationship fiancee relationship drama
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